Posts tagged ‘funny sayings’
After throwing a ball, “Fetch, Mommy, GO FETCH!!!”
After telling C we were going Christmas shopping, “Remember, Mommy, Christmas costs less at Walmart.”
“Gold dust is very magical. That’s what Alec Baldwin told me.” (Alec Baldwin narrates his favorite Thomas the Train movie.)
“Mommy, I’m not going to buy my own car when I grow up. I’m going to get one on Wheel of Fortune.”
(From class writing) When I get hungry…”I eat tings and pretzels because they are good. I like food with calories.”
I wish I could be like…”Thomas the Train because I like trains. I also want to be like a miner. I want to be like a marble.”
I wish I could look like…”Barack Obama because he is a president. I want to be like Mrs. B because she is nice. I wish I could be like the same.”
If I could change one thing…”for the world and it will be to stop the war. Wars are not so good. I also will change school to a playground maybe. I will change school to Wheel of Fortune. I will change school to a different country.”
“Mommy, did you know that the spare group of 49 is 7?”
While preparing to give C a reading placement test, his speech therapist read him the instructions. She was required to say three times, “If you come to a word you don’t know, I’ll tell it to you so you can keep reading.” The first two times she said it, C responded, “That won’t happen.” On the third, he said, “I already told you, that won’t happen!”
(Our caller ID showed a certain Presidential candidate’s campaign called, and I overheard C share the exciting news with a playmate the other day.) “Guess who called today? John McCain!!!!”
(Tearfully) “Mommy, can you never give me shoestring potatoes again??? Because they have transfat in them!!!”
(From class writing) The best movie I ever saw was…The Great Discovery, The Thomas Movie. The rating is GENRAL.
When I was a small child…I could not play golf very well.
My biggest goal in life is…to build bigger train sets.
C is hyperlexic, which translates to an early interest in letters, numbers and logos, followed by very early reading. He could read almost before he could talk. His first day of preschool, at just shy of 3 years old, he walked into the room, looked up at the EXIT sign, and said, “E, X, I, T, exit!” His teacher asked me if I’d heard of hyperlexia, which I never had. I’m pretty sure we thought all three year olds knew how to read and spell the word “exit.” I took him home, wrote all the words he could say (there weren’t many at that time) on his magic doodle board, and he read them. We were astounded, and quite frankly delighted. He also figured out, at about 4, how to calculate someone’s age in money (I’m a quarter, a dime, and 4 pennies). And I still remember him wandering around the playroom pointing out every Fisher Price toy we had. He fits the hyperlexia diagnosis probably better than any other diagnosis he has.
Generally, hyperlexic kids even out with their peers and then tend to fall behind in later years, when comprehension becomes problematic. At the moment, C is excelling in all things academic. C can decode just about any word, but he doesn’t necessarily know what they mean. Even when he understands what they mean, he doesn’t always really get the meaning in context. We’ve had a few people who think he’s gifted academically, but I’ve never been completely convinced that it’s not just the hyperlexia. Time will tell.
In the meantime, schoolwork has become somewhat more challenging, which has presented areas of concern, such as his recent answer to the question, “When was a time when you were pleased with yourself?” The question was in response to reading a story about a girl who is proud she won a spelling bee. His answer, “I’m pleased that my Aunt J and Uncle T are coming soon,” made clear his fundamental misunderstanding of the context of the word in the story.
Yet there are entertaining moments as well. Never has this been so clear as today’s schoolwork that came home, requesting the kids use specific words in a sentence of their own creation. C’s responses had us all howling with laughter and glee.
HARDLY – I work and play hardly.
HANDSOME – I am handsome looking, because I look good.
SPARKLING – I am sparkling because I am cute all over.
For this moment at least, I put away any nagging concern in the back of my head about academics in his future. If he can retain this kind of charm and self-confidence, I’ll consider his schooling a complete success.
I want to be together forever with you, Mommy. So then you can buy me stuff.
MOMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!! THERE’S SOMETHING COMING IN FROM OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AND I THINK IT’S IN THE SHAPE OF LIGHTNING!!!!!
I’m a little worried about A’s box of crayons. He doesn’t have the aquamarine crayon.
(As he’s pouring water down his swimsuit trunks) I’m washing my dooder. It’s really dirty. How did it get dirty, C? It’s been wiggling around a lot and it got really dirty.
Wanna know something cool about me, Mommy? I can read words on a 4th, 5th, and 6th grade level!
Mommy, if I saw you at the store, and you wanted to be selled, how much would you be?
Can we bring a toilet on our trip?
On May 27th I learnt a new language. Chinese.
Look at the state quarters in Daddy’s quarter book – they’re in yearical order!
(As we looked at old black and white photographs), Mommy, if you were born a long time ago, would you be black and white?
Daddy, are you usually diurnal?
There is very little gray in C’s life. We love to see those moments when the line between black and white has been blurred, but they are few and far between. Subtle humor and plays on words are often not in C’s realm of thinking. It allows for a different kind of humor to play out – one where we enjoy his literalism, and it provides some hilarious moments.
Recently C and Daddy were playing baseball at the park. As C tried running around the bases, Daddy reminded him to touch home plate. He came around third, sprinted into home, stopped, bent over, and placed his hand on home. There’s no arguing with that logic; he did exactly what Daddy told him to do.
The other night a mosquito bit C on the forehead, and he was very upset. In order to get him to stop screaming, I told him I’d draw a picture of that mean old mosquito. Underneath the mosquito, I wrote, “Mr. Mosquito, poop on him!” C studied the picture intensely, calming almost immediately. “But Mommy,” he said, “where’s the poop on him?”
Who needs TV? We’ve got constant, live entertainment, right in our living room.
Mommy, why do you think Ms. Mc wasn’t at science night? Maybe she had something else to do – maybe you guys wore her out at school today and she’s already asleep! Do you think she’s dreaming about the boys and girls in her class? Maybe she’s dreaming about us losing our recess!!!
(From writing journal) The mailman is inpornant to send us and every budy mail.
I can’t find my smile….it’s nowhere to be seen. I will be wearing my sad face for a long, long time.
(From writing journal) Once a puon of time there was a Mom. She was a helpful person.
Can you inside this out for me?
(After stubbing his toe) My toe is clobbered.
Do girls’ breasts just pop out? Does it happen in just a minute?
MOMMY! THERE’S A SPIDER! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!!!
(As I’m getting ready to go out to the pool in a bikini…) Mommy, why do you have THOSE breasts on today?
How many babies do you think I should get? Maybe 2 or 3. Or 7. I’ll have to make a big house with 7 rooms. Where will YOU sleep, C? I’ll share a room with one of my babies. Unless he has the flu. Then I’ll take care of him.