This job of mine

May 3, 2010 at 10:46 am 8 comments

     I’ve been absent lately because I’ve been struggling with a decision that would impact everything. Recently my dream job opened up. A job at a place where I’ve worked before and wanted to work again. The job I always swore I’d go back for if it ever opened and the timing was right.

     You see, once upon a time I had a career. You know what happened next; that fateful (and thankful) day when C’s doctor told us he couldn’t get a cold until he was at least a year old (we made it 15 months). It took Husband and I about five seconds to decide that I would be staying home with C, and I never really looked back. Since then, I have been doing part time work from home when I can find it.

     But this job, this one particular job, tugged at me in a way nothing else has since I said goodbye to the non-profit version of the corporate ladder all those years ago. This job was the one I’ve been waiting for – this job, which I just might get; this job that would allow us to completely flip roles and have Husband be the stay-at-home parent; this job at which I’d be really, really good.

          My decision ultimately came down to one thing: this job I wanted, it’s all-consuming. It’s the kind of job you live, breathe, and eat. Fun, no doubt about that, but big. Too big. What I finally realized is that I already have one all-consuming job I love, and his name is C. I don’t need another.

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The power of the people Skip a dee doo dah

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Cheryl D.  |  May 3, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Ah man! This sounded just like one of the story lines in last week’s episode of Parenthood! It really tore at me! No doubt you made the right decision, but it must have been a really hard one to make. Is there anyway they can downsize the position a bit so you can do it part-time? Or split up the work and give you part of it? Hopefully you can find something that can challenge you when your son isn’t!

    Reply
  • 2. pixiemama  |  May 3, 2010 at 11:15 am

    sigh.
    When the time is right is key, friend.

    love.

    Reply
  • 3. Robin  |  May 3, 2010 at 11:48 am

    Damn. I hear you. It is fine to be walking along this road, until you come upon that other pathway stretching out to the side. It fills your heart with what-ifs and could I’s. It is tough to choose to continue walking the other way. Hopefully it will reaffirm your love of the journey, and maybe this choice will allow you to keep your eyes open for a second, less all-encompassing job that still speaks to you.

    Reply
  • 4. goodfountain  |  May 3, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    Like pixie says, timing is everything. And one job is enough.

    Reply
  • 5. therocchronicles  |  May 3, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    A tough decision to make my friend, sounds like you followed your instincts and heart. C has the best mommy!

    Reply
  • 6. robinaltman  |  May 4, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    Woa! Tough decision! But the time just wasn’t right, so it doesn’t make sense. C is an awesome job. And reeeally rewarding!

    Reply
  • 7. Shivon  |  May 5, 2010 at 10:52 am

    You are a wonderful mommy.

    Reply
  • 8. hfamom  |  May 23, 2010 at 5:33 am

    My husband and I have done the job flip a couple of times in the last 7 years since D-Day (diagnosis day)… it’s hard! Congratulations on following your heart! C is lucky to have such a loving, dedicated mom! 🙂

    Reply

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