Alone time

October 16, 2009 at 5:21 am 4 comments

     I spoke with a friend today whose daughter is home sick from school. Mom’s comment that S was “sitting on the floor playing with her stickers and coloring” while Mom worked from home rendered me momentarily speechless. You mean kids actually do that? Sit on the floor and play quietly by themselves? Seriously? Wow. Just WOW.

     I marvelled for a moment at how different our two kids are. When C is awake, it is a constant, all-consuming, every moment affair. If he’s actually quietly playing somewhere, chances are he’s overflowing his sink, testing to see if the flashlight works in the toilet, or pulling the ears of our way-too-patient dog. When it’s too quiet in our house, there’s a problem, or else everyone is asleep.

     C’s need for interaction, any type of interaction, is simply so great as to make me wonder if C recognizes he is in fact his own independent person. It would seem that he is almost solely validated by his relationships with other people, which I suppose doesn’t exactly fit the stereotypical ideal of someone with an autism diagnosis.

     While all of my pondering on this subject has yet to yield a reason for it, the effect on me – the INFJ on the Myers-Briggs Personality Profile – is great. Perhaps now I value my alone time more since it is more rare, but I find myself staying up late at night, enjoying solitary trips to the grocery store, and yakking on the phone with girlfriends, well, never.  It’s almost as if C believes he ceases to exist if he is by himself, and I feel as though I can only remember my true self when I am alone.

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. therocchronicles  |  October 16, 2009 at 6:37 am

    Gosh, I just feel the SAME way. The Roc is always by my side when he is home. He just does not have the desire to play by himself. He will not go up to his room or up to the toy area on the loft without me. He wakes me up in the morning, follows me to the bathroom, everywhere I go, he is there. It’s lovely to hear his voice but at the same time it can be stifling and I am relishing the time that I have to be by myself again – but at the same time struggling to figure out what to DO with myself while he is at school! It always surprises me to hear of other people’s children entertaining themselves and NOT in front of the TV!

    Reply
  • 2. pixiemama  |  October 16, 2009 at 10:35 am

    Ah, this is where our kids part ways. Foster could be alone. Foster WANTS to be alone as much as I do. Sophie, on the other hand .. she’s an all-hands-on-deck girl.

    Reply
  • 3. hopeauthority  |  October 19, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    Alone time is priceless…especially in the bathroom!

    If his eyes are open, Fabio’s on me. Literally. Attached. Holding hands (tugging me somewhere), piggy-backing, on my lap (especially if I’m trying to eat or pee). And let’s not forget the headlock of death (and the foot to the crotch) each night while snuggling in bed.

    It’s all so cute…if it wasn’t all so annoying at the same time!

    Reply
  • 4. robinaltman  |  October 20, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    Now that my kids are sort of independent and too cool for words, that sounds kind of nice to me. Yet, my memory still functions, so I remember how overwhelming it felt. And C probably multiplies the usual little kid neediness by at least 10. Here’s hoping he grows out of it and you get time to yourself!

    Reply

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