A change is in the air

February 22, 2009 at 7:24 pm 8 comments

     I sense a shift afoot in my world, and I think I like it. It makes me feel a bit rebellious, a bit wild, and just a little bit assertive. It’s not a huge change, and it’s not as though I’ve gone from one side of the issue to the other. I guess I’ve just landed on one side after all this time sitting on top of the fence trying to balance. I still have one hand on the fence, but I suspect I’ll move away from it as time goes on.

     All this time, while loving C just the way he is, I’ve tried to follow his lead and help give him the skills he so desperately wants. He wants friends, and I’ve tried to show him the way. With therapies, facilitated playdates and Mommy intervention at the park, I’ve gently coached him in the finer skills of friend-making as if I had a list of what those skills actually are.

     What I’ve realized is that he just is who he is, and he’ll probably always struggle with the social subtleties of friend-making. And to heck with everyone else if they don’t love him like I do. They don’t know what they’re missing. I’m tired of trying so hard to help him fit into their world. Why can’t they come on over to his?

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Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , .

The A-word Wordless Wednesday

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Good Fountain  |  February 22, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    I hear ya!

    I work really hard to not get worked up about the future. If I let myself dwell on it, I will lose sleep.

    Did you read Cale of Spectrum Siblings’ guest post at Mindless Mommy? It’s really good! Great way to think about the future.

    http://www.mindlessmommy.com/2009/02/cale-from-spectrum-siblings-message-to-parents.html

    Reply
  • 2. embracingspirit  |  February 22, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    ohhh the world IS missing out……and I agree, it is time for others to fit into ‘their’ world!

    Reply
  • 3. T$  |  February 23, 2009 at 7:02 am

    that’s right, fuck them

    Reply
  • 4. Goldie  |  February 23, 2009 at 10:01 am

    YEAH!!!

    I am feeling verbose today 😉

    Reply
  • 5. mama mara  |  February 23, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    If only! But perhaps someday our kids will find others who live in their world — be they fellow aspies/auties, kindred spirits, or just quirky folks who know a good heart when they meet one.

    Reply
  • 6. goodmum  |  February 24, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    I’m glad you’ve found some peace. You’re right. There’s no taking our kids out of what they are or “where” they are, whatever or wherever that might be. It’s to hard to resist the urge to change them though, isn’t it? Good for you, Darcy! C is so lucky to have you. And he will find some true friends. He will.

    Reply
  • 7. BQkimmy  |  February 24, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    I hope someone comes into his world soon. I think you are right to stop trying so hard to make this happen for him.

    Reply
  • 8. mom-nos  |  February 25, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    I agree!! It would be so wonderful if people were that understanding. our lives and the lives of our kids would be so much easier!

    Reply

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