World View

January 29, 2009 at 9:23 pm 7 comments

     I don’t think of C as having any “deficits,” for lack of a better word. Like any kid, he has areas of great strength and areas of challenge. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him; it’s the rest of the world that has a problem. I consider myself blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful kid, and sometimes catch myself thinking how boring typical kids must be.

     Yet my view on C has hit a wall. There is a skill that is completely and utterly absent in him, and it’s definitely a problematic deficit. He struggles, like many kids like him, to interpret and understand his own feelings. “Sad” and “worried” are used interchangeably in his vocabulary. I try very hard not to tell him how he should feel about things, and most of the time it doesn’t present that much of a problem. Most of the time, anyway.     

     Yesterday when C told me a boy in his class told C he would stop being mean to him only if C gave him one of his erasers (they’re all the rage at the moment), I couldn’t help myself, and my own anger flared. C thought it was a great deal and quickly complied. “C,” I said incredulously, “do you understand that what that boy said was mean?”

     His reply, heartbreaking in both its simplicity and its future implications, was “But Mommy, it didn’t feel mean to me.”

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Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , .

A boy’s best friend Just a Mom

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Good Fountain  |  January 30, 2009 at 6:59 am

    Oy. That is rough. This is where your heart struggles the most, I’m sure. I hate to think of our kids being targets because they are so … innocent.

    Exactly. Innocent is it. I hope he continues to be so, even though it appears to get him picked on a bit.

    Reply
  • 2. Erica77777  |  January 30, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    UGHHHHHHH! This makes me completely heartsick. I am entirely at a loss as to how to deal with this type of situation, which I can clearly see coming up in our relatively near future. My heart goes out to you and C.

    I can tell you, I’m not getting much better at dealing with this type of situation! I have to remind myself these kids are KIDS and I can’t strangle them…

    Reply
  • 3. T$  |  January 30, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    maybe it’s time to teach C a new word: extortion.

    Maybe we could get that on the weekly spelling list??? LOL!

    Reply
  • 4. pixiemama  |  January 30, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Bring C here. I have the perfect, nice friends for him.

    Seriously – this is why we hover at birthday parties. This is why we are there every second we can be. And still.

    You are exactly right, and thank you for saying that. Truly. I need to remember why I do hover, and why it’s important that I continue to do so!

    Reply
  • 5. robinaltman  |  January 30, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Boy, would I like to get my hands on Little Eraser Head. I’d give that kid an eraser where the sun don’t shine. C is so sweet. I like Good Fountain’s way of putting it – he’s so innocent. I’d way rather have C as my kid than Little Eraser Head.

    I would rather have C too. As challenging as he can be, I’ll take that any day. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at him again without thinking “Little Eraser Head.” LOL!

    Reply
  • 6. mama mara  |  February 1, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    So often when my kids get bullied, I’m the only one who feels victimized. Which is why I’m the one who has to give the little buggers atomic wedgies.

    You said it perfectly – what more could I possibly say??

    Reply
  • 7. goodmum  |  February 2, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    I’m with Robin. I’ll hold the kid down while she shoves the eraser, er, somewhere. Bullies like that can always find the innocent kids to pick on. Where do these kids get off?

    Reply

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