A Few Moments in Time

April 21, 2008 at 10:06 am 8 comments

     Wake up. Wait for C to wake up before showering because he will scream that he needs a bottom wipe (still working on that….) while right in the middle of shampooing and will have to dash across the house, dripping soap bubbles all along the tile…dog will lick those up but will probably throw them up later, and usually on the carpet which is harder to clean up than the soap bubbles on the tile. Listen to C get up (via baby monitor), turn off his white noise machine and get pull-ups off, undies on. Remind self to do some research on how to night potty train but also remind self there are bigger battles to fight at the moment. Listen to him go into his bathroom and run to his room to attempt to figure out how, when he pees, it gets all over the floor, the back bottom of the toilet, and the wall. Miss out on that one. Must remain one of the great mysteries of the universe.

     Take shower, interrupted by C standing outside shower door, talking, but not talking loud enough so I can hear, and after repeated attempts at understanding what he’s saying, watch him follow dog out into the hall and wonder what he’s going to do to said dog, and hope husband is paying enough attention to save dog should necessity arise.

     Plod into kitchen, ask husband if he gave C reflux medicine (99 times out of 100 the answer is yes, but must ask in case today is that ONE day), start fixing breakfast. Listen to repeated requests for “dip” (favorite breakfast of dipping something, usually gluten free pretzels, into natural peanut butter and organic whole fruit jelly without any apples because C is allergic to apples), and decide to make his day start great and give dip. Listen to newly acquired request to “spread” peanut butter out on the plate “like Daddy does,” and wonder if this is the start of some new sensory based problem rearing its ugly head.

     Start making lunch, which includes tearing up gluten free deli meat chicken (must be chicken because C is allergic to turkey) into perfectly sized small pieces, knowing if it’s not perfect, I will hear about it the whole way home from school and will be reminded of the one day I didn’t do it perfectly for the remainder of the school year. Put assorted other odd finger foods he will eat at school  (which is a shorter list than the foods he will eat at home) into lunch and wonder, if anyone at school wonders why I send the same thing for his lunch every day, and resolve to increase attempts to work on feeding issues in the hopes he will learn an “apple is the same thing at home, school, grandma’s house, the park,” BUT OOPS, he can’t have apples, work on another analogy.

     Finish packing lunch and set out clothes and revel in the fact that after years of work, C is finally able to unbutton own pajamas and can mostly dress himself as long as things are laid out in right direction and he doesn’t have to button, tie, zip, or snap anything. Make mental note to ask school team to work with him on those things in the hopes that someday, between the team at home and the team at school, he will be able to wear something besides elastic-waisted pants. Wonder when elastic pants become sans-a-belt pants and do kids make fun???

     Get water bottle filled and be glad it only took two weeks to figure out the bubbles that come home at the end of the day are NOT in fact from some leftover soap contaminating his water bottle, but rather because he messes with the straw in the bottle, blows water back INTO bottle, making, in effect, spit bubbles. Listen to C remind me again that there’s soap in his bottle (BLAST self for ever suggesting that within his ear shot!), and remind HIM again that the bubbles are from his spitting back into it and please don’t do that.

     Pack up backpack – have him pack himself reminding him of the backpacking rules that come so naturally to most people. Wonder if I ever had to LEARN how to pack a backpack or did I just figure it out inherently??? Teach him (again) to put homework folder in first, followed by lunchbox, sweatshirt and water bottle on the side. 

    Run out door and get into car. Buckle into 5-point carseat and wonder when  C will get enough muscle tone combined with weight where it’s safe to put him in booster seat. Wonder when more kids than just the one boy – who says something EVERY time he’s in our car – will notice that C is still in a “baby” seat. Sing stupid songs, pretend to race, do whatever it takes to get to school happily and distract from inherent distress at going anywhere Mommy is not. Join in lively rendition of favorite song, “She’s a Brick House,” (complete with “womp-bomp-a-loo-wow” sound effects) and renew concerns about the implications of a 7 year old knowing that song. Start singing “She’s a Maniac” (coupled with pretend fast driving) and doctor up the words to talk about Mommy driving like a maniac and wonder when THAT will come back to haunt me and in what way. Ask what special he has today and if he thinks they’ll have rocket math and keep up constant chatter entire way to school while looking in the rear-view mirror watching for tears or signs of distress.

     Get to school, park (because we don’t do the “push-out” lane), and walk onto playground, generally timing it right before bell rings so there won’t be too much time to run around and generate reflux issues before school even starts. Watch C run around for 2 minutes and not connect with anyone and fight urge to snatch him up and run back to car and keep him at home, sheltering him from sure pain of growing up. Watch him keep one anal ear out for horn so he can not only get in line, but cover ears because horn is too loud and resolve to ask if they could substitute something that doesn’t cause all the spectrum kids to go into sensory orbit before they’re even in the building. Know he is so worried about when the horn will blow that even if he had more time, he wouldn’t venture more than 10 feet away from his class gathering spot and feel sad that he’s so worried at an early age. Wish I could worry for him, and realize, oh wait, I already do that, but wish he didn’t do that.

     Wait for bell to ring, receive more kisses and hugs, be thankful that some days he walks off to get in line without even a backward look at me. Be happy that days of crying and begging to go home are mostly over. Wait for class to line up and go inside, standing, waving goodbye, before walking out with handful of other parents who still walk their kids inside the playground. Wonder, as we walk past the teacher/aide who is waiting for us to leave so she can lock the gate, if she thinks we’re nuts or just diligent parents.

Go home, work, clean, write.

Worry that phone will ring and it will be school.

 

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Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , , , .

Trouble with a capital T Imagine that!

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. awalkabout  |  April 21, 2008 at 6:32 pm

    Ditto Boy has the same problem in the bathroom–pees everywhere. It’s the ADD. He goes in, gets started and then it’s oh look at that! (turn right), oh what’s that! (turn left) oops! (twitches as he realizes what he’s doing, pulls back, it hits the floor then). Somewhat disheartening. So I feel for you. 🙂

    Is THAT what it is? I seriously can’t figure it out. I mean, I know boys are messy in the bathroom, but it hits spots that seem to go beyond that! LOL!

    Reply
  • 2. T$  |  April 21, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    phew, i need a nap…

    Reply
  • 3. goodfountain  |  April 21, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    This is a really insightful post about the extra worries we have for our special kids. You’ve captured it so well. I’m not sure what else to say. I don’t want to offer sympathetic hugs b/c I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for. Like you titled the post, this is just one moment in time. With a thousand other moments a day that are not like this.

    Great post.

    You’re right – not looking for sympathetic hugs! I just sometimes wonder if I have ADD because my mind is always trying to be one step ahead of him. And this is all BEFORE coffee! LOL! Actually, I don’t touch the stuff, but I probably should…

    Reply
  • 4. FXSmom  |  April 21, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    Your mornings aren’t busy at all, are they!? 😉

    Probably nothing compared to yours…!!! 😉

    Reply
  • 5. jesch30  |  April 22, 2008 at 12:39 am

    I’m exhausted.

    Aw, you and T$ just aren’t in the groove. 😉 Pretty soon you’ll be here visiting and you’ll be in the deep end of the pool (figuratively and literally). 🙂 Can’t wait!

    Reply
  • 6. lastcrazyhorn  |  April 22, 2008 at 7:35 am

    Hey, one of my cousins didn’t stop needing pull-ups until she was in middle school!

    Why don’t you take a shower before he gets up? It seems logical to me from this side of the vortex. 😉

    I must say, I wish I could write like you. Must file this away somewhere . . .

    I know, it seems silly that I don’t get up before he does, but sometimes he gets up at 6, sometimes at 8. I just never really know when he’s going to get up…I wish I could be one of those 5 a.m. up people, but I’m just NOT!

    Yup, not too terribly worried about the pull-up thing. I never really thought it was a big deal until a doc said he could give him a prescription to help him NOT go. Now that seemed like a really, really dumb idea to me. Of course, this was the same guy who offered to write a script for some heavy duty OCD med 5 minutes into C’s first appointment. In the next breath, he asked ME if I needed anything. YIKES! Either we seemed like the ultimate frazzled family or this doc was having a slow day…

    I call this post a “stream of consciousness” style! LOL! It’s just thoughts, down on paper, random style. And shucks, thanks for the compliment – I consider a compliment from you a great big deal indeed. Made my day!

    Reply
  • 7. A couple of good reads « Good Fountain  |  April 22, 2008 at 9:06 am

    […] have been enjoying reading asdmommy and her stories about her son C at What We Need. Today’s post, in particular, highlighted the sometimes more challenging interesting aspects of life with our […]

    Reply
  • 8. Carol Ricker-Bailey  |  April 25, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    This site is wonderful. I meandered away to a link that was comedy. A funny bollywood youtube, sorry I am computer illiterate, could’nt tell you where I was or exactly how I got there. Now I’m back wondering if you ever rest, or sleep. As I am adding memories to previous memories I realize that I mentally compose a thesis on teen and adult Asperger’s instead of sleep. Projecting too much:The draft is still hiding under my pillow. Thanks for your C stream of consciousness.

    I think we all wonder that about each other…when do we sleep, rest, rejuvenate ourselves? Mornings are not my favorite time…too rushed to get out the door. But boy do I like picking him up from school! Anyway, I think the internet is the ultimate “stream of consciousness,” where you can just keep on going and finally you get somewhere and you wonder how you got there. It’s definitely a weird place, the old world wide web…

    Reply

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