Denial

January 20, 2008 at 1:53 am 3 comments

     I’m not sure we were ever in denial that something was going on with our child. (Is that denial I hear?) Recently, I’ve heard more about early warning signs for a child with autism. It’s amazing to me that no one ever said the word “autism” to us until he was almost 3 years old, because it appears so obvious in hindsight. I don’t even remember it ever coming up as a possibility; everyone seemed to be operating under the premise that he was premature and would catch up. 

     Even after we realized he had autism I believed, somewhere deep in my heart, that he would still be completely fine. I thought C would graduate early intervention and start kindergarten as a “typical” child. He was (and is), after all, an amazingly bright, sweet child with a real capacity for love. This doesn’t sound like autism, does it? Again, denial. And certainly some ignorance thrown in. But I’m beginning to think that the denial stage of grief should perhaps be renamed “hope.”

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Entry filed under: autism. Tags: , , , , , .

Caveat Anger

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. awalkabout  |  January 20, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    The older son we had to fight for nearly five years before someone official would admit he had Asperger’s. We went to several different doctors because SOMETHING was not right, but it was finally some TSS helping another kid who made the casual comment, “Oh,does he have Asperger’s?” BAM. No services till he was nearly 8.
    The daughter, tho, was a shoo-in, despite all the people who tried to tell us speech delays weren’t really a issue. I don’t think she was even two. She has made SO much progress. Early diagnosis is SUCH a blessing. I’m all for making it mean HOPE. Good for you.

    babs

    Reply
  • 2. wilddaisy33  |  January 20, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    Wow – what a story. I’m so tired of that “wait and see” attitude. It does seem to be changing, though. Early intervention is amazing, isn’t it?

    D

    Reply
  • 3. R.  |  January 26, 2008 at 7:43 am

    I go round-and-round with “Hope” versus “Denial” throughout this journey with my son. I, too, was convinced that he would be “fine” by Kindergarten, to the point that I rarely even questioned it aloud, even though he was non-verbal at 3 1/2, and so far behind in most things. I dove head-first into treatment without a doubt in my mind. It continues to be a shock to me every year that — here we are again at the damn IEP meetings…! Every birthday (his, not mine – God, that’s a whole different story..) I fluctuate between being so honestly proud of the progress he’s made, and so greived by the progress he hasn’t. Because I had such hopes (or was in such denial), I don’t know which. I guess only time will tell, and will ultimately change my perspective on the whole thing. Love your writing….

    Reply

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