Posts tagged ‘funny things kids say’
c-isms
“Mommy, you should watch channel 598 because it’s a good channel for grown-ups! It’s called ‘Adult On Demand!’”
“I love you, Mom, for all your funniness.”
“I think it’s a boy movie for all the farting.”
“Mommy, how did I get inside you before I was borned? Did you swallow me or something?”
“Daddy, can you teach me to fall asleep as fast as you?”
“How many feet above us do you think God’s throne is?”
To the lifeguard at the pool who gave C a bandaid when he scraped his knee…“Thank you, I think you saved my life.” Followed quickly by, “I want to go somewhere sometime and NOT get bonked.”
* * *
C: “Do Ga and Pa have kids?”
Me: “Yes, C, your Uncle T$ and Mommy are Ga and Pa’s kids.”
C: “No, not you, do they have real kids? You know, kids my age?”
C-isms
“Mommy, could you get me a little brother?”
As we were driving by the extinct volcano near our house in Ga’s convertible, “If this volcano erupted, would we have to put the top up?”
“Do you pick up stuff on Ash Wednesday because the volcano ash will hurt it?”
“I’m tired of sleeping in my bed.”
“I always like to talk to little people like me.”
“Is there a life cycle for poop?”
“That’s how I like to spend my money. On cheap stuff.”
As he’s observing the hair on his legs, “Mommy? I think I’m getting too haired.”
“Mommy, I think I should just skip 4th grade and go straight on to college.”
C-isms Part IX
Darcy: “Do you want to wait in the car until the bell rings or go onto the playground?”
C: “Let’s sit in the car. What should we talk about?”
Darcy: “Let’s talk about how you are my favorite boy in the whole world.”
C: “We always talk about that. Let’s talk about something else.”
***
“Mommy, Is Jesus one of Santa’s Elves?”
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Darcy: “What did you learn in school today, C?”
C: “Not really much. I knew it all.”
***
C: “I have to give you a compliment, Mom. You are so precious.”
Darcy: “Thank you.”
C: ”You are a pleasure to be welcome.”
***
“If you were me and I gave you a bag of eggs and told you to put them away and you didn’t know about eggs what would you do with them?” Umm, where did I put the groceries???!!!???
“I haven’t gone poop in a long time. I’m just storing it up in there.”
“That is awesome. Dog is a math-solving-dog. He knows 1+1.”
C-isms Part XVIII
“Mom, I bet you’ll like this catalog because you’re a fashion lady.”
“I’m homesick. What does that mean?”
“Mommy, this Galaga game has guys (spaceships) shooting other guys (other spaceships). Is that appropriate?”
“Mommy, you look divine. What does that mean?”
“We had a bus evacuation drill today. It was an A-. I wanted a slide out of the back of the bus instead of a jump down. But otherwise it was good.”
“It’s really easy to talk to birds. You just have to speak their language. Like, ‘Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet.’”
C-isms XVI
From C’s school writing journal…
The most important event in my family was…having my Dad turn as old as James A. Garfield.
If I could be anything in the world…I would be a golf ball.
If I could fly…I would be with the birds. I would fly to school and back home. It would be awesome if I could fly with everybody in the world even George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
During a hurricane…they cause lots of damage. Hurricanes have names from A to W. They go boy girl girl boy. You got to be near an ocean.
A time machine…I would see the dinosaurs. I would see television shows like old ones.
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“Mommy! This is made in Italy! I thought everything was made in China!”
“Mom, when was color invented?”
“Mommy, why did you marry Daddy, do you know?”
“Mommy, do you know where the closest weapon factory is?”
C-isms, XV
After telling C a friend of mine died…“Mommy, maybe you should call that person and see what Heaven’s like!!!!”
“Mom, where’s the back of your head???”
“G’s day was just like Alexander’s. He had a ‘terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.’”
“Mommy, if John F. Kennedy, hadn’t been assassinated, he’d still be alive.”
“Mommy, could you give me some snuggles? Because some tears are about to fall out of me.”
From writing journal with prompts provided…
Outer space….”is a crayon color. Outer space is a place where space men live. The planets are Neptune, Mercury, Earth, Jupiter, Venus, Ploto, Moon. There is Saturn and there is even constillations. There is black holes. There is 16 moons on Jupiter. There are astrodies. There is a milky way. One of my favorite games takes place in space and it’s called Galaga 88.” (By the way, this is EXACTLY how C talks.)
In the future…”is something different.”
A museum…“is where things that are old. A museum is a magnificent place. Some museums have dino bones. Some have old-fashined things. Some have fun stuff. Some museums have art. Some museums have pitures.”
A kitchen in a farmhouse…“would be funny.” (Think on that one, readers. You’ll get it. It took me awhile.)
A dream…”is in you when you sleep.”
C-isms, Part XII
“Here, Mommy, feel my tummy. Does it hurt?”
“I’m not good at geo-gog-raphy.”
“Mommy, why did the Steelers used to be Uncle T’s favorite team? Is it because he likes stealing?”
At the movie theater, “Is this the place where Abraham Lincoln was shot???”
PA: “C, when I was a kid, I only got a nickel from the tooth fairy.”
C: “What was a nickel worth back then?”
C-isms, Part X
“Mommy, I love ya’ from here all the way to the Highway 70 in Utah.”
“Hurry up and give me a snuggle! My brain is dissolving!!!”
(From class writing work) I wish I were better at…tennis because it is fun. Next week I might hit the teacher again.
“Someone forted at school today. Oh, yeah, it was ME. And it was FUNNY. And it’s spelled f-o-r-t with an e-d at the end of it.” (It took me several moments to figure out he’s finally learned the real word for what we call “tooting.” But leave it to him to put his own spin on it…)
“Mommy, I do NOT know ANY cow language at ALL.”
C-isms, Part VIII
“I played basketball for the first time today. Now I can play for a real team on TV!”
From writing work at school…If I ever get married…“I will have triplets and will marrie S.” (S would be the adorable girl that sits next to C.)
More from writing work…People love me because… “I like to snuggle with my family. Also I am so so so so so cute.”
At home I am… “helping out with so so so so so many chores. Like folding the laundry, open blinds, bring out water. All these chores make me get so much allounce.”
“Do you know what’s on the back of the two dollar bill? Two guys sitting on chairs, I think.”
“Peanuts have two ingredients: peas and nuts.”
“There was a big bang at school today. Did you hear it??? My potato chips exploded. The bag kaboomed all over the place.”
