C-isms XVII

     C’s teacher, hereinafter named the Divine Mrs. D, emailed me this little nugget earlier this week. Apparently, a child in C’s class was upset that he had made a mistake. Another child, trying to comfort the first, said, “It’s okay, everybody makes mistakes. Nobody’s perfect.”

     C piped up and said, “Actually, that’s not true. My Mom is perfect!”

     Is it any wonder I love this kid?

C-isms XVI

From C’s school writing journal…

The most important event in my family was…having my Dad turn as old as James A. Garfield.

If I could be anything in the world…I would be a golf ball.

If I could fly…I would be with the birds. I would fly to school and back home. It would be awesome if I could fly with everybody in the world even George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.

During a hurricane…they cause lots of damage. Hurricanes have names from A to W. They go boy girl girl boy. You got to be near an ocean.

A time machine…I would see the dinosaurs. I would see television shows like old ones.

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“Mommy! This is made in Italy! I thought everything was made in China!”

“Mom, when was color invented?”

“Mommy, why did you marry Daddy, do you know?”

“Mommy, do you know where the closest weapon factory is?”

C-isms, XV

After telling C a friend of mine died…“Mommy, maybe you should call that person and see what Heaven’s like!!!!”

“Mom, where’s the back of your head???”

“G’s day was just like Alexander’s. He had a ‘terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.’”

“Mommy, if John F. Kennedy, hadn’t been assassinated, he’d still be alive.”

“Mommy, could you give me some snuggles? Because some tears are about to fall out of me.”

From writing journal with prompts provided…

Outer space….”is a crayon color. Outer space is a place where space men live. The planets are Neptune, Mercury, Earth, Jupiter, Venus, Ploto, Moon. There is Saturn and there is even constillations. There is black holes. There is 16 moons on Jupiter. There are astrodies. There is a milky way. One of my favorite games takes place in space and it’s called Galaga 88.” (By the way, this is EXACTLY how C talks.)

In the future…”is something different.”

A museum…“is where things that are old. A museum is a magnificent place. Some museums have dino bones. Some have old-fashined things. Some have fun stuff. Some museums have art. Some museums have pitures.”

A kitchen in a farmhouse…“would be funny.” (Think on that one, readers. You’ll get it. It took me awhile.)

A dream…”is in you when you sleep.”

C-isms XIV

“Mommy, does the ‘MA’ tv rating mean middle-aged?”"

“If there was a tie for President, would they do ‘eenie, meenie, minie, mo’?

“Mommy, I might be the only person in Arizona who can speak bird.”

“Can we watch ‘King Few Pandas’?”

“I know how to speak lots of languages…except Dutch and French. I don’t know those.”

“If I become President, they’ll write a book about me and you can learn all about me, Mom.”

C-isms, Part XIII

From C’s writing journal at school, where the teacher gives them the first part of the sentence and they go on from there:

The saddest day of my life was when…I had a very bad dream. Then I woke up.

When I am twenty-one…I will go to Wheel of Fortune alone. I want more money. I will maybe get a car. I might get one million dollars.

A boy or girl who can’t keep a secret…should keep one.

My family is…very nice. My family is very smart. My family knows everything.

A family with no TV…should have one. They may not want one.

A stowaway on a spaceship…is someone that could not go on. They are not allowed on. They don’t go on. They shouldn’t.

A struggling band…is a band who doesn’t work good.

An amateur spy…is someone who is starting to spy.

A foreign exchange student with his/her host family…would be a person that lives with somebody that lives in a different language.

A person shrunk to one-tenth of his/her size…would be boring.

A clerk…gives you money at the store and you buy stuff.

A boy with a magic baseball cap…can turn into anything.

C-isms, Part XII

“Here, Mommy, feel my tummy. Does it hurt?”

“I’m not good at geo-gog-raphy.”

“Mommy, why did the Steelers used to be Uncle T’s favorite team? Is it because he likes stealing?”

At the movie theater, “Is this the place where Abraham Lincoln was shot???”

PA: “C, when I was a kid, I only got a nickel from the tooth fairy.”

C: “What was a nickel worth back then?”

C-isms, Part XI

After throwing a ball, “Fetch, Mommy, GO FETCH!!!”

After telling C we were going Christmas shopping, “Remember, Mommy, Christmas costs less at Walmart.”

“Gold dust is very magical. That’s what Alec Baldwin told me.” (Alec Baldwin narrates his favorite Thomas the Train movie.)

“Mommy, I’m not going to buy my own car when I grow up. I’m going to get one on Wheel of Fortune.”

(From class writing) When I get hungry…”I eat tings and pretzels because they are good. I like food with calories.”

I wish I could be like…”Thomas the Train because I like trains. I also want to be like a miner. I want to be like a marble.”

I wish I could look like…”Barack Obama because he is a president. I want to be like Mrs. B because she is nice. I wish I could be like the same.”

If I could change one thing…”for the world and it will be to stop the war. Wars are not so good. I also will change school to a playground maybe. I will change school to Wheel of Fortune. I will change school to a different country.” 

“Mommy, did you know that the spare group of 49 is 7?”

C-isms, Part X

“Mommy, I love ya’ from here all the way to the Highway 70 in Utah.”

“Hurry up and give me a snuggle! My brain is dissolving!!!”

(From class writing work) I wish I were better at…tennis because it is fun. Next week I might hit the teacher again.

“Someone forted at school today. Oh, yeah, it was ME. And it was FUNNY. And it’s spelled f-o-r-t with an e-d at the end of it.” (It took me several moments to figure out he’s finally learned the real word for what we call “tooting.” But leave it to him to put his own spin on it…)

“Mommy, I do NOT know ANY cow language at ALL.”

C-isms, Part IX

While preparing to give C a reading placement test, his speech therapist read him the instructions. She was required to say three times, “If you come to a word you don’t know, I’ll tell it to you so you can keep reading.” The first two times she said it, C responded, “That won’t happen.” On the third, he said, “I already told you, that won’t happen!”

(Our caller ID showed a certain Presidential candidate’s campaign called, and I overheard C share the exciting news with a playmate the other day.) “Guess who called today? John McCain!!!!”

(Tearfully) “Mommy, can you never give me shoestring potatoes again??? Because they have transfat in them!!!”

(From class writing) The best movie I ever saw was…The Great Discovery, The Thomas Movie. The rating is GENRAL.

When I was a small child…I could not play golf very well.

My biggest goal in life is…to build bigger train sets.

C-isms, Part VIII

“I played basketball for the first time today. Now I can play for a real team on TV!”

From writing work at school…If I ever get married…“I will have triplets and will marrie S.” (S would be the adorable girl that sits next to C.)

More from writing work…People love me because… “I like to snuggle with my family. Also I am so so so so so cute.”

At home I am… “helping out with so so so so so many chores. Like folding the laundry, open blinds, bring out water. All these chores make me get so much allounce.”

“Do you know what’s on the back of the two dollar bill? Two guys sitting on chairs, I think.”

“Peanuts have two ingredients: peas and nuts.”

“There was a big bang at school today. Did you hear it??? My potato chips exploded. The bag kaboomed all over the place.”