You say Levicious, I say Leviticus
C tends to be on one end of the spectrum or the other, no pun intended. Inevitably during the first weeks of each school year, C’s teacher will email me asking, “Does C go to the bathroom a lot at home? Because he’s going a lot here…” I have to explain to them that he will go a lot (mostly to explore) at first, and then it will wear off…then they’ll email me later in the year with concerns that he’s not going enough during the day.
Every. Single. Year.
As is his way, C tends to overdo, generally followed later by underdo. It’s sometimes entertaining and sometimes dangerous (like the kindergarten bathroom experience during his plumbing phase, where he got diarrhea so often it prompted him to ask me if everyone got it once a month). If nothing else, it’s always interesting.
This time, it’s the Bible. We knew it would happen; his previous inexposure to church coupled with an immersion into an Evangelical Christian school would likely result in a soaking up of the information like a sponge. The Bible is appealing to C as it has lots of numbers, chapters, and short clips to memorize. I don’t even have to quiz him on his weekly Bible verse as he usually has it memorized on the first day it is assigned. C asks everyone their favorite verse. It is reminiscent of his weight phase when he was four and asked everyone he encountered – and I mean everyone – their weight. We were all too happy when that one passed. I don’t think I’ve ever explained or apologized as much as I did during that phase.
But I reached my limit this afternoon after 20 solid minutes of Bible discussion – or more of a one-sided fountain of information with few spaces for breath - in the car. ”I don’t like Levicious (Leviticus) or Dotonony (Deuteronomy), Mom. What’s your favorite verse you learned by heart? I already know this week’s verse. It’s _____. Mrs. T’s favorite verse is ___, and I asked her if we could learn that next week. So the Jews like the Old Testament and the Christians the New Testament, right? I think I like the Psalms. I know Pa’s favorite verse. I’m not the nicest kid in the world, Mom, Jesus is. Whose name do you say when you pray, God or Jesus? I say Jesus or the Holy Spirit. Did you pray that Mrs. T’s smartboard would work today, Mom? I did. You know you should pray five times a day, don’t you? Do you? Pray five times a day? I do.”
I finally had to ask him to stop. I could barely get a word in edgewise. We’ve had therapists tell us in the past to stop him when he’s going on and on about a special interest, all while ignoring all the cues from other people who have lost interest long ago. We’ve also had therapists tell us that we should be his soft place to fall and should engage and immerse ourselves in C’s special interests every bit as much as he does. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know I’d heard enough proselytizing for a Friday afternoon and had to call “enough.”
The Bible discussion inevitably turns into preaching. I’m used to C imposing his moral code on us – he’s a rules boy, after all – but not quite in this format. If you want to be disconcerted, try being preached at (I know it’s not grammatically correct, but he actually IS preaching AT you) by an almost ten-year old. No one is immune, except, it seems, my brother and sister-in-law. I’ve been waiting for that first “Have you been saved?” phone discussion, but it just hasn’t happened. Yet.
So, have YOU heard the good word? No? Well, come on over to our house, we’ve got plenty to share.