How did I get here?
People have found this blog in various ways. About 50-75 people visit daily, and for the most part, I have no idea who they are. But they leave a trail; a trail that makes me wonder if they are getting what they need from “What We Need.” The website keeps track of the google/yahoo/[insert your search engine here] searches that land someone here at my humble online abode.
There are comical searches, such as “he’s not giving me what I need in bed,” “does God say touching breasts is wrong?” and “how to present a giraffe to a preschool teacher.” There are ones that make me wonder how in the world they ended up here, such as “we need one car to take him to the city” and ”why babies make spit bubbles.”
The ones that really get to me, however, clearly come from people who need something from their search. These searches are probably like the desperate ones I used to put in early on with C when we had no idea what was going on with him. “Help, I think my child has autism.” “Is sensory integration disorder considered autism?” “Preschool street signs obsession.” “Hypotonia, sensory integration, failure to thrive.” “How do I get my child the help he needs?”
I imagine a parent, late at night, exhausted but unable to sleep, perhaps worried about an infant or toddler who was premature but hasn’t caught up like preemies do. They are wondering why their child lines up his trains in perfect order, why their child seems to have constant tummy aches, or why their child opens and closes doors continuously. It seems that some are wondering if the first diagnosis of one thing will really end up being autism after all. It’s a scary time for a parent, because while I don’t think we expect our kids to be perfect, we expect things to be perfect for our kids.
While raising C has been nothing like what I expected it would be, I wouldn’t change him for anything. He has so many gifts, so many amazing qualities, and so much to offer the world. I can’t say it’s all been easy, not even close. But the benefits far outweigh everything else. So whoever you are, sitting out there, staring at a computer screen and wondering what it all means, I hope you’ve gained some comfort here.