One step ahead
I often describe C as high maintenance. He requires a large amount of energy and brainpower on my part, and I compare it to having a 2 year old 10 year old. On one hand, he needs constant attention and supervision. On the other hand, he is very bright and knows things most 7 year olds don’t know (heck, he knows things most adults don’t know). This combination makes for one frazzled mama at times.
I feel as though I am always trying to keep one (or two) step(s) ahead of him. How is he going to react if I say this? What will he do if I try that? Is there any way to avoid the stress he’ll face if we go here? What can I do to make sure this event is successful for him? How can I help him deal with his feelings if it isn’t? The adjustments we’ve made in daily life have become our new normal; so much so, I can go whole days without thinking about autism – until we go to the park, and then WHAM, I remember.
I sometimes laugh at myself because I am far from a career I so desperately wanted, and I worry I’m not using my brain or skills. Then I remember I’m using every brain cell and all my available skills to parent this child. I knew C would outsmart, outwit, and outlast me at some point in his life (yes, I’m a Survivor fan), but I never thought it would happen when he was 4. And now he’s 7. But in some areas he’s 2. Some he’s 10. You do the math.